T minus 48 hours

Just over two days to before we’ll be setting off yet again from Sniffer Towers and making the journey (well below the speed limit officer !!) down to Portsmouth in our new 2011 lady. As yet we haven’t got a formal name for her – one of our first tasks will be to resolve that forthwith.

After last year’s cosy duet for the journey down to the coast it gives me great pleasure to welcome the Jungle VIP back to the fold for this year’s journey and overall event. I for one can’t wait to find out what makes the boy king angry at the moment and I am looking forward to what his first rant of the journey will be.

After 2010’s significant change with personnel, this year brings only a slight adjustment and some fine tuning. Absent is American Dave who is no doubt sowing his seed in other people’s wives as we speak but who knows, maybe he will have run out by 2012 and make another comeback to re-join us again.

There are some rumblings (unsurprising judging by the size of him) that Pie-Boy may also make a comeback for 2012 as he hasn’t been seen since his virgin year in 2002 when he so infamously messed himself after a heavy bout of early morning alcohol consumption whilst watching an important England match with KL and my good self .

As we all remember that was an infamous year for another key reason in that it was the only year that my second in command, Mr Chadders, Sir, was unable to attend. A dark day for us all and I can remember it well when he broke the news to us…..

On a more positive note, if both American Dave and Pie Boy pledge their commitment for next year that means we may have to re-look at the transport arrangements…..and pretty quickly – how about three pitches and two motorhomes??

This year promises to be another great year with, of course, some new features and gizmos (some more secret than others!!) and some consolidation of our tried and tested favourites.

In summary….

• As this is now our third year with superior luxury it is now totally and utterly unquestionable that a motorhome is the only way to travel – a brand new Transit derivative for this year no less – Chadders and Sniffer are the nominated drivers once more;
• Our luxury levels continue to increase as we now have Commodore cabins in Britney with complimentary breakfast served in our rooms – I would wager that we still have to suffer through the intolerable ‘wakey wakey’ music as land comes into sight!
• As we have now come to expect there is still a television within our home for the week, although this year there is no football but Sniffer will once again be bringing the Portable Digital Satellite System which worked a treat last year;
• In addition to that Pie Boy has again donated his Freesat HD receiver for our journey – top bloke !
• As per last year we will obviously not be bringing any additional vehicles with us – not a problem in itself although we will miss the opportunity to witness the supermarket parking antics and full on aggression of the Monkey King;
• Push irons seemed such a good idea last year but with hindsight deep down we knew we’d leave them welded to the back of the Sundance Kid for the entire week – no return for pedal power this year;
• Draught beer is always discussed at some point with mixed plans but inevitably we always end up with the same routine of picking up our liquid refreshment when we get there (not that that is a poor substitute by any means);
• This year is slightly different in that Sniffer has procured 21 pints of Draught Real Ale – results of its success will no doubt be shared in due course. Obviously this will accompany our standard combination of Red beauties, dirty Pelforth and the sweet taste of a nice cold Desperado. Rumour has it that chocolate port (what, what) will be making an appearance this year too;
• Last year’s splendid additional was a gas fridge (thanks originally to JT as he used to bring one for several years before his departure) which worked tremendously – this will be present this year too;
• Two pitches at Houx have been booked, along with the promise that they are adjacent, so fingers crossed! Two pitches have also been provisionally booked for next year assuming they meet with our satisfaction this time. Permanent electricity without the sound of a noisy, smelly Jenny – who’d have thought we’d come this far?
• Our fancy gazebo from last year, the East Wing, is also packed and ready to come along again this year – made more of a necessity than last year due to the fact that the weather doesn’t look great for the week and that our lady for 2011 sadly doesn’t possess an awning;
• Grandstand tickets are the future and have been procured once more above the pits – we’ve always threatened to use them for some of the races on Saturday morning – maybe this year we’ll make it;
• After last year’s success of the Kangaroo TV I was all looking forward to renting one again this year. Shockingly they are not going to be available at all this year due, apparently, to contractual issues not being resolved in time – Gutted……..
• I am reliably informed that the Xbox360 won’t be attending this year’s event due to some technical problems – he will be sadly missed…….

Bring it on !!